Narcoleptics (Un) Anonymous

I’m not sure what to rant about this week, which must mean I have nothing to rant about. We must celebrate this rarity by making a list, one of my favorite pastimes. This week’s list shall consist of Things I Would Do If I Had Time To Do Things.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m sure you have time to do things. To that, I say, haha, my friend. Haha. Between copy editing for The Oracle, being Treasurer of RHSA (I really just took the position because I thought “Treasurer” had something to do with pirates; I didn’t sign up for numbers), working in the costume shop, reporting my little heart out on the regular and, oh yeah, going to school, there aren’t enough hours in a day. But a sista’ can dream and dream I shall.

Things I Would Do If I Had Time To Do Things:

1. Sit at my computer and watch Jenna Marbles videos. On repeat.

2. Eat yogurt in slow-motion like they do in the commercials.

3. Write in my diary more than once every two weeks.

4. Straighten my hair. That’s a lie, I probably wouldn’t do that if I had all the time in the world.

5. Do this wonderful thing called reading for fun. (I heard about it in a fairytale once; it seems like a magical activity.)

6. Minor in international relations.

7. Call my family. Like, every day.

8. Mosey into town and play a little guessing game I like to call “Homeless Person Or New Paltz Student.”

9. Or I would just, oh, I don’t know, sleep?

Suzy Berkowitz

Next Post

Students Discuss Dining Options

Thu Oct 25 , 2012
Campus Auxiliary Services (CAS) is introducing several short-term and long-term changes, some which have already been implemented. CAS extended their hours in the Student Union at the start of the school year and will soon unveil a massive new vending machine on the concourse. The current contract with Sodexo, the […]
Students and faculty waiting in line to get food from The Grille. Photo by Alicia Buczek.

You May Like


It’s almost the new year; time to pick up a new hobby! Alex Bologna explains the joys of bouldering and how to get started in our latest article. Read now!

Stumped on what to get your loved ones this holiday season? Don’t just immediately turn to Amazon — walk outside your dorm on Thursdays and check out some of these local student businesses!

Every New Paltz student loves buying things at the market every Thursday. Ever wonder how you could set up your own stand? Sydney Rockwood gives you the steps to pursue your passions and set up shop! Read now ☀️

Load More