Narcoleptics (Un) Anonymous

I’m not sure what to rant about this week, which must mean I have nothing to rant about. We must celebrate this rarity by making a list, one of my favorite pastimes. This week’s list shall consist of Things I Would Do If I Had Time To Do Things.

I know what you’re thinking: I’m sure you have time to do things. To that, I say, haha, my friend. Haha. Between copy editing for The Oracle, being Treasurer of RHSA (I really just took the position because I thought “Treasurer” had something to do with pirates; I didn’t sign up for numbers), working in the costume shop, reporting my little heart out on the regular and, oh yeah, going to school, there aren’t enough hours in a day. But a sista’ can dream and dream I shall.

Things I Would Do If I Had Time To Do Things:

1. Sit at my computer and watch Jenna Marbles videos. On repeat.

2. Eat yogurt in slow-motion like they do in the commercials.

3. Write in my diary more than once every two weeks.

4. Straighten my hair. That’s a lie, I probably wouldn’t do that if I had all the time in the world.

5. Do this wonderful thing called reading for fun. (I heard about it in a fairytale once; it seems like a magical activity.)

6. Minor in international relations.

7. Call my family. Like, every day.

8. Mosey into town and play a little guessing game I like to call “Homeless Person Or New Paltz Student.”

9. Or I would just, oh, I don’t know, sleep?

Suzy Berkowitz

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